


Now Go, Man, Go

by telm_393



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Brief Self-Harm, Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up, Heart-to-Heart, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Self Confidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7999372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telm_393/pseuds/telm_393
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Maximoff grows up and steps up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now Go, Man, Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VampirePaladin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampirePaladin/gifts).



> This was hard to write, but I very much hope you like it, VampirePaladin.
> 
> The title's from, if I remember correctly, "Rock Around the Clock".
> 
> There's some ableism here, but it's kind of implicit, and some of it just has to do with it being the eighties. There's also talk of disability, but that's implicit too.

Peter wasn't ever ashamed of not moving out of his mom’s place, never mind the snide comments just about everyone would throw at him over it and the way girls who'd seemed interested in him at first would wince and lean away when he mentioned that his house was more his mom's house than anything. He just shrugged off any negativity and moved on. See, he wasn't (and isn't) ashamed of much, really. He just didn’t give a damn what other people thought, because he couldn’t afford to or he’d be constantly tortured by everyone else’s hate. But even if it didn't embarrass him, he knew he was a slacker, a loser, and he just couldn’t find it in himself to care when he was doing fine and keeping his mom company. And why would a slacker care anyway? Check and mate, Peter says.

He never thought about his dad, even after the Pentagon, and certainly not before. He had his mom, and his sister, and even if the family they made was a little dysfunctional, it was enough for him, especially since he realized his dad was a literal terrorist, which. Yikes. So he didn't trouble himself thinking about the dude. Not until he heard the guy’s name again and something broke in him and he decided that he had to actually meet the man and tell him who he was, what they were supposed to be to each other, a desire that surprised even him. Of course, that didn’t work out anyway. Peter’s never considered him a selfless person. Actually, he’s generally considered himself the opposite, because it’s kind of hard to not give a shit about most things except having a fun life and be unselfish in any way. 

...But he still couldn’t tell Erik who he was, because no matter how much he wanted to, it would've just been cruel. Erik had a family, and he lost it, and then he _lost it,_ and Peter didn’t think it would help to say, “hey, I’m your son!” when the guy's real kid had just died, so he said nothing. Besides, he’s not exactly raring to have some daddy-son time with a mass murderer. 

So instead of having some kind of reunion with his dad, Peter took a second option and helped save the world instead. 

Turns out that that makes you rethink some things, and after the En Sabah Nur debacle, Peter feels different. He’s saved lives, and he’s helped people, and he likes that. He was never all that interested in using his powers for good, but he’d never really had an idea of _how_ powerful he was either, and now he wants _more._ He wants to _do more_. That’s why he decides to stay at the school even after his cast comes off (it’s only on about two days with his accelerated healing, but they’re the worst two days of his _life_ ) to help take care of the kids or whatever, because it turns out they like him, which isn’t actually a surprise, since kids have always liked him. Not to brag, but he was always the coolest babysitter in the neighborhood. 

Peter wants to move on with his life, can’t go back home when he’s seen a bigger world, when he’s been _useful,_ because he didn’t know he wanted to be useful, but he really, really did. 

He thinks that the problem was that life hadn’t really taken him anywhere other than the Pentagon that time, and he hadn’t made any lasting friendships or saved the world or anything, but now it’s taken him to some wild places, so Peter’s going with the flow, just like he always does.

When Raven asks him to be an X-Man, it takes him two whole seconds of thoughtfully chewing his gum to say, “Yeah, sure.”

Peter’s ready for a new life. Ready to use his powers for good. Before, he'd never considered the idea that maybe he was a mutant for a reason or whatever, but now he thinks that there's a chance he is, that he was meant to do all this life-saving shit with what he has.

(His mother once asked, “Why won’t you move out? Why would you spend so much time at a standstill when you’re so restless?”

Peter had shrugged and said, “I’m a free soul, mom, and I’m not standing still. I can still run. A metaphorical standstill doesn’t bother me.”

His mother had just sighed at him. 

Unsurprisingly, she’s pretty thrilled that he’s decided to move out.)

+

Technically, a twenty-seven year old dude isn’t old. 

…Except for when he’s surrounded by kids, and his closest friends and teammates are all literally at least a decade younger than him. 

To a seventeen year old, a decade is a long time. 

Also, sometimes Peter thinks his silver hair might have something to do with people thinking he’s wise. It’s just, like, a theory.

The problem is that, immature as he may be, he’s still an adult. It might not have been obvious when he wasn’t constantly around children and teenagers, but now it really is. His mom always said he was stuck in a state of perpetual adolescence, but Peter can now say in good conscience that that is absolutely untrue, and he is so grateful, because being a teenager sucks. It possibly sucks even more than being in close proximity to teenagers all the time, but he goes back and forth on that, so.

Anyway, teens are moody, angsty, horny little monsters, and Peter? Peter's just not like that anymore, because he’s a loser and a slacker, but he’s also twenty-seven.

He’s had more time to process the world, more time to develop--just more _time._ So, yeah, he knows more about being alive than most people around him, because he’s been at it longer. 

He’s a grown-up. He never felt like one before, but now he knows it for a fact.

Even so, he maintains that he’s not _grown up._ He’s never really had to try to do anything before. It’s all easy to him. 

Or it _was_ all easy to him, because now he has to be something he’s not, or something that he isn’t yet, the friend that’s also a cool, approachable adult, who knows what he’s doing, who knows better than anyone their age.

Peter’s kind of having the time of his life.

Turns out that what he always wanted was a challenge, and people? They’re a challenge. Real friendship? That’s a challenge. Being a role model and confidant?

Okay, actually, that's kind of rough, mostly because Peter’s teammates have _been through some shit_ that he can’t even imagine. Truth is, sometimes he wishes he didn’t know quite so many details, but he grew up in a broken family with nobody to turn to, and he doesn’t want that to be something his friends have to deal with, so if they want to spill their guts to him, fine.

He can deal.

He’s lived long enough that he’s learned how to handle pain, even if it’s not his own.

He didn’t know that until the first time he held Jean Grey while she cried about being a monster and awkwardly assured her, just barely managing not to panic, that nah, she was a mutant, not a monster, and she’d helped save the world, what kind of monster would do that?

He’d felt useless, but she’d stopped crying after a while, and asked, “You really think I’m a good person?”

“You’re a great person, Jean. You’re a badass.”

And she had seemed to believe it, just because it was coming from him.

It’s an amount of power Peter’s uncomfortable with having, but he has it, so he owns it, because Peter’s had a charmed life compared to his teammates, and he actually _wants_ to help them. He cares about them. He likes making people happy. He already knew that, and he was always a fun guy who made people laugh, but now he feels like he has an actual effect on people’s lives, and that’s—

Awesome.

Awesomely terrifying.

+

Peter’s occupying some of the younger kids while dinner’s being made, entertaining them by picking them up and zipping them around as gently as possible because hell if he’s gonna deal with puke, building dioramas out of toothpicks faster than they can process, letting them play soccer inside when they’re _totally_ not supposed to do that, helping one or two with their homework while trying very hard to not just do it for them because sitting still long enough to explain fucking math to a kid is the fucking worst, and so on, so forth. A normal Friday night at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. 

The kids are absolutely trashing the main room, but Peter doesn’t give a damn, because he’s fast enough that he can clean up in like five seconds, and the commotion is worth it if his master plan works.

His master plan is just to tire them out enough that they actually go to sleep at bedtime and give him time to, like. Exist while not training to save the fucking world or taking care of kids, and relax and hang out with his friends, who are also kids, but, like. _Less_ kids. He is still, tragically, old to them, but he’s also super cool, and they’re good friends, so it evens out. 

Anyway, his master plan generally works, because Peter Maximoff has boundless energy that not even a kid can match. 

He’s taking some time to himself, sprawled on the couch and reading one of Kurt’s big books on Gothic Cathedrals when Jubilee hurtles over to him and hisses, “Peter, we have a problem.”

Peter finishes the book in about a sixth of a second. It was pretty interesting, and the pictures were beautiful. He can see why Kurt likes those things. Peter should really introduce the guy to comic books. Not much reading, lots of pictures, and more dignified than kid’s books.

He tosses the book to the side and says, with an absolutely heroic lack of worry, “Gimme the lowdown.”

“It’s Kurt.”

Peter grins. “Did you lose him again?”

Kurt has more than a few catlike features, and curiosity is one of them. This means that, due to a complete lack of understanding of what will make everyone freak out, he has a tendency to wander, and since he can teleport, it drives his friends crazy with worry, because he could honestly be anywhere.

Peter’s generally cooler about it, because Kurt’s always in mint condition after his adventures, and Peter’s got super speed, so the longest he’s taken to find Kurt was two minutes. That was the time Kurt had been up a tree in Central Park for…actually, Peter’s still not completely sure of his reasoning. The explanation had been in an excited mix of English and German (Germlish?), and Peter hadn’t even tried to understand, because he does not have that kind of patience. 

Especially since that was the first time Kurt pulled the disappearing act and Peter was actually worried. 

So he’d just told Kurt that it freaked people out when he disappeared in the middle of a conversation for no apparent reason and was then AWOL for _two days_ , and Kurt, appearing to understand, had gone and done it many, many more times.

Kurt’s possibly the sweetest person in the world, but he’s also kind of a little shit. Peter knows one when he sees one.

But he hasn’t been gone that long since, and the first time he wasn’t hurt or anything, so Peter doesn’t worry anymore. Kurt might have a few screws loose and need a little more help with day-to-day life than most kids his age _(some developmental...differences,_ Peter once overheard Hank telling Raven as delicately as possible, _possibly related to his, um, upbringing_ ), but Peter thinks that as a seventeen year old he should be afforded some independence. He remembers being seventeen, and that was all he wanted. 

“Not really,” Jubilee says.

“Whaddaya mean not really?”

“I mean, we haven't really lost him. We know where he is. He’s in the rafters and won’t come down.”

“Maybe he just needs some time alone, Jubilee,” Peter says. “He’s not a little kid, he can be out of sight for a while.”

“I don’t know, Jean seems really worried…”

That actually does get Peter’s attention, because if Jean’s worried, then that means there’s something to be worried about. Girl can read minds, so. 

“Can’t any of you guys talk to him?”

“We think he’d rather talk to you. Y’know, he likes you, and you…know how to deal with stuff…I mean, you’re a…”

_Grown-up._

Peter does not say a thing about how he has not a single solitary clue about how to deal with stuff, utilizing an amount of tact that he's honestly pretty sure he didn't have before moving into the mansion.

He sighs and says, “Yeah, I’ll go get him. I bet it’s nothing, though. He's stronger than you think. Kurt’s a happy kid.”

“Not always,” Jubilee points out, and Peter has to concede to that, especially when he finds Kurt curled up in the rafters muttering to himself in German and scratching at his skin with his claws. He does that sometimes, but he doesn’t usually manage to make himself bleed, and Peter can see blood.

Peter _hates_ blood. 

“Woah, man,” he says, and Kurt jumps in surprise. Peter’s incredibly relieved that he doesn’t teleport away. “Hey, it’s just Peter.”

Kurt’s eyes are unfocused, like his mind has teleported a million miles away even if his body is right here, and Peter’s stomach aches. He hates seeing sweet, happy Kurt this way, hates being reminded that Kurt’s been through things he tries not to imagine. 

Peter comes closer, more slowly than usual, but it’s still too fast, apparently, because what probably seems like his sudden appearance at Kurt’s side just startles the poor guy again. 

“Now you know what it’s like when you teleport right next to someone,” Peter says, and then wants to smack himself, because this is so not the time.

Kurt doesn’t seem to mind, though. He says nothing, just looks down at his arm and traces one of his scars. Everything is slow to Peter, but it’s still kind of sudden when Kurt tears into his arm, gouging the skin. 

“Woah!” Peter protests, grabbing Kurt in a hug that’s actually more of a hold to keep him from using those claws again. 

Kurt doesn’t struggle, but he doesn’t relax either. He’s usually tactile and responsive to touch, but he’s still somewhere else, Peter guesses.

He wonders if the others think that he somehow knows how to bring him back.

He hasn’t got a damn clue.

Kurt says, “The last night I was with them, my circus family, they made me a good dinner, and they all were with me. It was very nice, and it was not like them. Not normal, since mama died. I was not so close. No one wants the demon.”

Peter almost snorts in contempt at the word _demon,_ because Kurt’s the least demonic person ever, but he holds himself back, perfectly aware at this point that Kurt, like every other teenager, would probably think that Peter's contempt was directed at him.

“They knew,” Kurt says. “That I had been sold. They wanted to give me a happy moment before the execution, because they were not monsters.”

Peter wants to throw up, but he says nothing, and tries to keep his face calm. He feels like vibrating, like running away from the discomfort, but he doesn’t. He stays, because he should. Because he’s been trusted with this. 

“They pitied me.”

Peter fucking hates them.

A tear runs down Kurt’s cheek, and Peter loosens his grip as Kurt tries to wriggle away, because he doesn’t want to _actually_ restrain a person who’s so afraid of being restrained. Kurt would just teleport away, and Peter would lose trust he already doesn’t deserve. 

Kurt looks at Peter, and his eyes are alive again, and anxious, and earnest. “Do you pity me?”

Peter doesn’t have to lie, but he does have to think about it, even though he’s sure that to Kurt it seems like he answers immediately.

He doesn’t pity Kurt for what he’s been through, even if he feels bad and angry about it, because Kurt didn’t come out broken. He's not right in the head and he’ll never be normal, especially considering his visible mutation, but he’s exuberant and curious and genuine, and that’s better than normal. 

He’s not always like this, not always hiding in the rafters. Most of the time he’s with his friends, or playing outside, or exploring, or learning. Most of the time, he’s okay. He doesn’t know how to do a lot of things, and his sense of self-preservation is underdeveloped, and he doesn’t always act his age, and he's different, and it’s not just the culture shock or language barrier, but in the end, Peter can’t think of a single reason to pity him, because Kurt doesn’t pity himself. Sometimes he hates himself, but he’s really the least maudlin teenager Peter’s ever met.

That’s why Peter says, “No.”

“Good,” Kurt says firmly, and then he’s very quiet for a moment that stretches on forever, though everything is forever to Peter, and he says again, “Good. It is good that you think so.”

Peter knows that his opinion matters to Kurt, and he still doesn’t think it should, but what the hell, at least he’s helping. He feels useless when the others are hurting, but he’s not, and that’s what matters. 

Besides, someday, Peter will be as wise as everyone thinks he is. Someday, he’ll have his shit together. Someday, he’ll know what the fuck he’s doing.

For now, he’s just gonna fake it ’til he makes it.

For now, he’s just gonna try his best, because he knows that it’s already enough.


End file.
